- Some people say "shoot" instead of "shit." They can't fool me, man. "Shoot" is "shit" with two o's
- There's too much blood in my caffeine system
- A clean house is a sign of a misspent life
- Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
- It tastes like burning
- Take my advice, I don't use it anyway
- May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
- Its a shame that stupidity isn't painful
- I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
- Love me ore leave me. Hey! Where's everybody going??
- Life is one of those things that most of us find very difficult to avoid
- Life Gives A Man Many Chances But Death Not !
- On the road of life, don't forget to stop and eat the roses
- I Study Much But I Never Study My Self Yet.
- A honest person is someone you could play checkers with over the phone
- If I am what I eat them I am cheap, quick, and easy
- Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain
- Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
- I told my psychiatrist that everyone hated me. He told me I was being ridiculous. Everyone hadn't met me yet
- We are searching for rational reasons for believing in the absurd
- More and more of our imports come from overseas...
- On the road of life, don't forget to stop and eat the roses
- Now i am staring at your Door Me & My Last Cigarette