Funny SMS Jokes

Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya, Counter Clerk asks: Kuch kehna chahte ho?
Sharabi: Jise lagao usse bata dena ye do peg ke baad khulti hain



Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!
Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai!



Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar AA raha hai....
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, who apne khilone pahechan leg



Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar kar ke, Ghar ja raha tha ke achanak bijli, Chamki, Badal garje, Zor se barish shuru hoi, Aadmi bola lagta hai pahunch gai.



lady drinking coke, machar falls in .
lady take it out ,
machar says ;maaa
lady ask why u did u call me maaaa
machar says mien teri kook(COKE) se nikla hon maaaaaaaaaa



kal main ne hawksbay per dekkha, 4 addmi ne eik saat sumander main chalang lagaye magar sirf eik ke baal gheley howe. ye kase mumkin hai
baqi 3 ganje they



Teacher:Bachon wada kro kabhi sharab,cigrette nahi piyo ge
Bachey:Nahi piyenge
Teacher:Girls ka peecha nai karoge
Bachey:Nahi karenge
Teacher:Unn par awaaze nai kaso ge
Bachey: nahi kasenge
Teacher:Watan par zindigi qurbaan karo ge
Bachey:Kardenge,aesi zindigi ka karna bhi kya hai..



Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma"m! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so farr !!



Baap Beti Se ,
Pehle Tum Mujh Ko Papa Kahte The Ab Dady Kuyn Kahti Ho ,
Kiya Wajah Hai ?
Beti : Papa Kahne Se Lipstick Jo Kharab Hoo Jate Hai




one day dog dancing madly on the merage of lion lion ask y r u dancing madly dog said i am also lion before merrage....



Teacher: "LOVE" kia Hai
Ali: Sir "L" ko pakar k "O" ko duba k "V" main Ghusa k jab "E" ki Awaz aye to usay "LOVE" kehtay hain



Explain The word "AUTOMATICALLY"
....Nahe pata
i"ll xplain... ager koi ganji ladki auto mein bethi ho
to use kehte hain auto_mein_takli



2 Ghadhe{Donky}Apas Main Bateen Kar Rahe Thay.1st Yar Mera Malik Bohat Zalim Hay.Bohat Marta Hay Kaam B Zyada Leta Hay.2ndto Tum Bhag Jao Na Is Ko Chood Ke.1st Yar Bhag To Jaon Per Ik Waja Se Ruka Hoon. Mera Malik Jab B Apni BETI Se Ladayi Karta Hay Na. To Us Ko Ye Kehta Hy Ke Beti Tum Sudher Jao Warna Main Ney Teri

Shadi GADHE Se Kar Deni Hay..



Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg . Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad



Teacher :Because of Gandhiji"s hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A HOLIDAY



A Family Saw ""Sholay"" Movie
Came Back Home And Husband Romantically Said To Wife
"" Nach Basanti Nach""
Child Added
""Nahin Basanti Is Kute K Samne Mat Nachna""




FATHER: How Are Your Grades, Son?
SON: Under Water, Dad.
FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean?
SON: They"Re Below C Level




Costomer- Whose Eggs Is This
Shopkeeper - Its Mine
Costomer - Ok So Give Me One Dozen Of Chicken S Eggs




Wife - Suniye Kya Aap Kitchen Se Garam Masala La Kar Aayenge
Husband - Magar Yahan To Nahin Hai
Wife - Mujha Pata Tha Tumha Nahin Mila Ge Is Liya Main Pehla Se Le Aayi Baghwan!!!!!!!!




Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa Baajo Walay Ghar Say Doctor Ko Bula Ke Laa, Meri Tabiat Kharab Ho Reli Hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! Aap To Khud Doctor Ho.
Munna: Bolay To Meri Fees Buhat Zyada Hai




Naukarani: Malkan Ap Udaas Kyun Hai
Malkan: Tumhare Sahab Office Ki Kisi Larki Se Payyar Karte Hai
Naukarani: Nahiiiiin, Sahab Mujhe Dokha Nahi De Sakte




Husband Aur Wife Hotel Me Gaye Tabhi 1 Lady Ne
Hello Kiya,
Wife- Koun Thi Wo?
Hus-Tum Dimag Kharab Mat Karo, Main Pehle Hi Pareshan Hu Ki Woh Bhi Yehi Puchegi.




Rizwan: Doctor say help me, mein jab baat karta huun to muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Rizwan: Phone karte waqt



Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can"t understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.



Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Student: The future tense is "You will go to jail".



Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old.
He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!



Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn`t come back yet!
Santa: Why don`t u cook something else.



PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot
Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin...



Teacher:"Now,children,if I saw a man beating a donkey n stopped him,wht virtue wuld I be showing?"
Student:"Brotherly love



Teacher: 3 girls are walking in the road. Turn the sentence in to exclamitory.
student: WOW!



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